Committing to college is an incredible feeling for high school seniors. Years of challenging classes, late nights studying, and dedication to extracurricular activities finally pay off when students decide where they will spend the next four years. While committing marks the end of the stress of the college application process, it also marks the start of a new one—one that can be just as stressful: the college roommate search.
In recent years, the process of finding a college roommate has drastically changed from what it once was. Many years ago, the primary way students found roommates was simply through random assignments. Students would fill out surveys about their lifestyles and preferred living environments, and, from there, the colleges would randomly pair students with roommates based on the compatibility of their responses. Nowadays, however, the process looks very different.
With the growth of social media and roommate-matching platforms online over the years, the process has shifted from random assignments to social media searches. Incoming freshmen can now post profiles, share their interests and habits, and connect with others attending the same college, completely online. One of the most used tools for this search is MeetYourClass, a social media network that has been utilized by hundreds of thousands of students from over 1,500 colleges, according to their website, which fosters college-specific pages where admitted students introduce themselves in posts and can browse other students’ posts to reach out to.
While the ability to choose a roommate gives students more control over their living situation, it also creates a new kind of pressure. Because most interactions between students searching for roommates occur online, many feel the need to curate how they present themselves to be liked and secure a roommate. With profiles, photos, and bios forming first impressions, students feel pressure to present themselves in a way that will appeal to others. Conversely, when students struggle to connect with classmates on these platforms, the process can become stressful, as their self-esteem can be affected, and some may blame their appearance or personality for the lack of responses.
Seniors at Bernards High School have experienced the stress that occurs when searching for a college roommate. Jessica Fu ‘26 shared, “It’s so difficult to have conversations because sometimes they’ll leave you on delivered for days or weeks at a time.” She added, “It kind of makes you feel bad about yourself and the type of person you are, your personality, and who you present yourself to be because you’re wondering why these girls aren’t responding to your messages.”
Despite the stress it can create, the current online process of finding roommates is not entirely negative. Through social media, students can connect with people before arriving at their college, and some ultimately find someone they genuinely click with. However, reaching this outcome often requires students to put themselves out there, start conversations, and invest time and effort into the search.
Echoing this idea, Lorelei Traynor ‘26 reflected on the process, sharing, “It’s definitely been a long process, but I think as long as you keep reaching out to people and keep trying, then you’re going to find the right person and someone that you click with.”
Ultimately, while the roommate search process offers benefits, it also has drawbacks that are too difficult to ignore. Beyond creating stress and work for students, the current roommate search somewhat distracts from the core living similarities that bonded students in random assignments. Finding a roommate online makes the process superficial to an extent, as people’s initial impressions are formed solely based on profiles and brief interactions on social media. As a result, important aspects of lifestyle compatibility can be overlooked, and students who might have naturally connected in person may miss the opportunity to meet.
Brooke Schnahbolk ‘26 reflects this perspective, saying, “I feel that people are just going and finding someone that they like through social media because they have a shared friend or interest, but at the same time, a lot of people forget to ask if they’re clean or what time they wake up and lifestyle choices.”
Random rooming can be stressful because students have little control over who their roommate will be. However, the modern process of choosing roommates may create more pressure than it relieves, showing that having more control does not always make the experience easier.
